The Beautiful Mess

Tangled and torn, thorn to thorn
A beautiful mess resides within
Perfection is in the perspective

Flaws make us who we are
Rhythm in the idiosyncrasies
Strides to bettering oneself



Crackled and worn, thorn to thorn
A beautiful mess resides within
Brokenness via rose colored glasses

 Never given more than one
can handle, breathe through
distress and calm your nerves,
tackling doubt with force you
never knew you had, bending
but not breaking, cracking
never shattering.

Full Circle

Crumble crumble
A tear drops as the pieces unwind
Shaking uncontrollably
The river flows in the search for sanity
Breathe just breathe
Who is the haggard girl in the mirror?
Conflicted, contorted thoughts mingle
With the unknown comes struggle
Wrap it up, take back your power
Find the riverbank and hold on
A twig so thin and stringy
It could break with a sneeze
Smash, Splash into the freezing abyss
Gasping, flailing, upside down, inside out
Toes scrape against saving grace
Push up, fumble to the surface
Breathe just breathe
Your here not there, here is real, raw
Lap it up, own it, know it
Accept and retreat from the dispair
Grow out of and into another mind
Reach for room, capacity a maximum
Expand until existence is exponential
Breathe just breathe
And let everything come easy

Man of My Dreams

I so lucky to have met the man of my dreams.  Literally...look at him...he is dreamy!  When love comes along you have to grab it and never let go.  Fight for what you have!  Oooh... you don't want to cross me when it comes to people that I love, I will fight to the very end, tooth and nail...giving almost until I am no more.  Some might say that is a problem, but I don't see it as one.  As long as the person you are fighting for is cheering you on and in your corner just as ready and willing to fight for you. I have had the grand opportunity of knowing the difference between true love and the rest of those chumps that came along prior to true love.  It's simply the difference between existing while in a relationship versus thriving while in a relationship.  He makes me a better person.  Day in and day out he inspires me to be the best Danielle that I can be.  My long term goal in life has always been to teach what I know and be willing to be taught what I don't know.  The more room allow for this in my life, the better my life becomes.  And dreamy over there...I mean Mr. Stroud... is an integral part of my goal. 

A wise man once said "Energy shared shines brighter than energy wasted alone". 

I totally agree.

Until next time...

Within It All

Within it all, I hope there is peace
The world can be in chaos
The world is in chaos
But to find the peace within
Is to find oneself

No matter the circumstances
You can find light
You are light
But you must open up to see
Yourself within it all

With the stroke of a paint brush
the click of the type-writer
With the chop of that sweet bell
the wipe of the beloved baby


Find the Beauty, the Silver Lining

Peace resides, Choose to see it

Next Steps


So I haven't written in quite sometime, but here is what I have learned while I've been away...Life progresses and is in continual flux.  For some this can cause a severe sense of pressure and tension about what to do next.  Whether you are fresh out of college looking for a job, or a new parent who has no idea what it means to actually be a good parent, we are all in the same boat! 

Take a breathe. 

Step back and just have a look. 

You are where you are and the sooner you accept that the sooner you will allow yourself to continue on without having a mini heart attack.  No matter what situation you may find yourself in there can always be space to grow, find the light and follow it.  Each and everyone of us has extraordinary abilities to influence and persuade, the ability to change our thoughts thus leading to a better physical future.  Just believe in yourself!  Once you get to this point, there will be no stopping you :)

Until next time...

Trail Work 101

View from our camp

Artistic creation is an interesting process.  It starts with a blank medium, utensils and a vivid image of what is trying to be created.  Each stroke builds excitement taking oneself closer to the finished product.  Inspiration fosters an appreciation for the steps taken each day to finish the masterpiece.

These past two weeks my medium was the unfinished portion of the Arizona Trail, which runs for over 800 miles connecting Mexico to Utah.  Some of our utensils included a pick mattock, shovel, and an ax.  My cohorts and I chiseled our way from an expanse of rolling desert to a beautifully manicured desert trail that balances functional use by humans and the preservation of the natural environment.   Along the way several facts became apparent:

Em and I

1.      Dust boogers are inevitable

      Believe it or not when cutting bench tread (a flat walkable surface cut into a hill or mountain side) a lot of dirt will be flying around.  Breathing it in is part of the gig, so not only will you look like a dirt ball on the outside, but your boogers will join you in the dust bath.

2.     

      Glochids suck

      Glochids are tiny hairs accompanied by the large spines on the prickly pear cactus.  They may look soft and supple but they are very irritating...especially when you find them in random spots that you wish never to be irritated.

3.     

      Hantavirus would be a terrible way to die

      This is a disease spread by rodents.  They carry the virus in their feces and urine.  Contamination is through respiratory contact.  Symptoms are similar to the flu and then lead to respiratory failure.  I don't know about you but I don't want to die because of rat poo. 

Trail time!

4.     

      There is no room to be modest in these conditions Losing balance in the desert is extremely dangerous.  Yes, I tried to pick up a very large rock, ended up dropping it, went flying backwards and landed on a piece of cholla cactus that securely wedged itself into my right butt cheek.  Their spines are about an inch long with barbed ends so they hang on very well.  Screaming and dropping my pants immediately, Kristen came to my rescue by freeing me of its grip in my flesh.

5.     

      Trail work is rewarding 

      Its physically demanding working 10 hour days in the hot sun swinging a heavy tool, but having the ability to walk the route you’ve just created knowing it will be there for many years to come is worth every swing.

      By the end of the two weeks I was caked with dirt and prickers.  We had blazed our way through about a mile of the Arizona trail within Saguaro National Park.  Having fun and taking care of business at the same time.  With each day and every cactus removal we took part in the creation of something beautiful.  Watching it unfold slowly and come together perfectly at the end of the two weeks.  Our masterpiece molded and scratched out from Los Hobos hands and tools.  A good hitch, I’ve learned to appreciate much.  Until next time.

Triple piggy back on our rec day

                                                      Danielle

My First Month

Hike to Hot Springs

The southwest is an interesting place full of sand, sun, and vegetation that would love nothing more than to poke you viciously.  I was unsure how I would get along with such a place, but so far I have been pleasantly surprised.  I've had the opportunity to sleep under a never ending sky full of millions of twinkling stars, witness the most beautiful sunrises while sipping black coffee- fervently chewing on the grounds in between each gulp, and talk amongst friends while watching a breathe taking sunset fall behind the chocolate mountains.  I'm slowly falling in love with my new way of life and have a crew of great people to share these new experiences with.  So without further ado I will introduce them...

Rise and Shine

My Crew, rightfully dubbed as Los Hobos, consists of two crew leaders (Kristen and Jake) and six corps members (Meghan, Emily, Chase, Jared, JR and myself).  We are a mix of 22-26 year olds from all over the United States.  So far we have travelled to Blythe California, Needles California (neither of which were too exciting) and Boulder City Nevada working in conjunction with the Bureau of Reclamation monitoring vegetative plots around the Colorado river.  Our project partner Phil was a super cool older man who is awkwardly silly.  He loved to watch us play ninja (one of our favorite games while waiting on directions), and loved donuts so brought them to us frequently.

Epic Ninja Battle

A typical day in the life of Los Hobos starts at 6 am with frozen work pants, breakfast and stretching then winds down with dinner around 6pm accompanied by a warm campfire, music and sometime games.  When we aren't hard at work our group is very active- going for runs, hikes, yoga, slack lining, ultimate frisbee, super happy fun time (a combo of 4 plank holds and 100 push-ups), playing music, cards or creating any type of fun game. Everyone on the crew is uniquely amazing and has something to offer.  I've learned so much already and its only been a month.  I've had lessons on looking fancy while pooping in a hole in the desert, LNT (leave no trace), knots 101, and local vegetation/wildlife in the area.

Happy Los Hobos

I'm looking forward to where we will go next and what I will learn.  In all experiences lies a greater understanding to be had, a new way to view the same old thing or a character building opportunity.  It took me forever to decide what I wanted to call this blog and what my purpose was going to be in writing it.  But I finally landed on The River Beneath because no matter what I do, where I am or who I'm with my ultimate goal is to find the life giving water that is in everything and everyone.  Its been a pleasure.  Until next time...

                                                                                                 Danielle